The Resurgence of Brewer-Blogging

This is a day that will live in Brewer infamy. December 19th, 2010. Or possibly December 18th because the story was broke in the wee hours of night. Either way, ZACK GREINKE IS A BREWER.

This blog has officially reopened as a 78% Brewer blog and 22% I hate everything-type blog. Oh yes, a great day for our Brewers and a great day to capitalize on this by returning to form as a premier Brewers' interweb-analyst.

ZACK GREINKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Brewer time: What is wrong with Corey Hart?

"You know going in that they're going to say the worst things they can and we're going to say the best things we can," said Hart. "That's the way it goes. I have thick skin. I know a lot of fans don't like me. But I have fans that do like me."


Oh, the problems with Corey Hart. I don't think there has been a player - one of the core players, even - whom the fans have turned on faster. The amount of criticism he has been getting over the last year or so has turned Yostian, and it is all deserved.

You see, in Corey Hart's mind he's a really good baseball player who doesn't take terrible angles to flyballs and doesn't strike out on the same low-outside slider every single game. In Corey Hart's mind he is still batting the delicious .892 OPS that made him one of the game's rising athletes and a first-time All-Star. In Corey Hart's mind 2008 and 2009 don't exist, and because they don't exist he expects and demands a $1.55 million raise.

In the real world, where Corey Hart obviously does not reside, we have stats. Stats show how good of a baseball player you are, or how bad of a player you are. In this new found reality Corey Hart has gotten worse each of the last two seasons to the point where he just goes to the plate and flails hopelessly at pitches. Brewer fans remember watching you play games, Corey. You really aren't very good.

Just look at that quote at the beginning: "You know going in that they're going to say the worst things they can and we're going to say the best things we can," said Hart. "That's the way it goes. I have thick skin. I know a lot of fans don't like me. But I have fans that do like me." OK, Great Corey! What exactly are you going to tell them? "I, Corey Hart, deserve a $1.55 million raise because I've continually improved each year in the majors and I expect to improve again this year." To which the arbitrator would reply, "Get the hell out of my courtroom!"

"I know a lot of fans don't like me." Really, Corey? Why do you suppose that is? It's because you are the exact same player you were when you were a rookie trying to fill Carlos Lee's shoes. You haven't gotten better, you've gotten worse. You are Bill Hall. The league has figured you out. You can't hit sliders, you are a terrible baserunner, you are barely average on defense, and flat-out it just seems like you just don't care. See, Corey? Fans don't like you because we think you don't care, and this whole "Aw shucks! I'm not going to change a thing" mentality is why. You have been mediocre for a while now, Corey, and you refuse to change your approach.

And now, for the second year in a row, you are the last player under team control to settle on a contract. You are consistently thinking you are better than you really are, in reality. I think starting tomorrow I'm going to go to work and consitently suck at my job for two years and when the boss calls me into his office and asks just what the hell is wrong with me and demand that I wise up and change what I'm doing I'll say, "Seriously, boss? I'm not changing a damn thing until I get my deserved 20% raise." Then I'd proceed to take a dump on his desk and then I'd be fired and probably end up homeless. But no, the baseball equivilent to this scenario nets you a $1.55 million raise. Frankly Corey, you just seem really stupid.

Oh, and your tattoos are god-awful. That's also why fans hate you.

Brewers: 55-57

The Brewers have now given up 56 hits and 29 runs against the Padres - a team that ranks last AVG, Runs scored, SLG% and second last in OPS - in 4 games.

Congratualtions, Brewers. Your season is officially over.

Umpiring 101

What do we call a pitch 6" outside? What's that kids? A "ball"? Well you're fat and also stupid and judging by that comment probably have never played the game of baseball like MLB Umpires are required to do, thus not knowing proper baseballness.

Larry Vanover hates the Brewers. That is the only conclusion I come to after staring at these pictures for hours.





"Well what do the robots tell us!?", they shout! "Surely they cannot be sure it was a strike! O' Machinery!"




The purpose for this post is to show how just much LARRY VANOVER sucks at his job and probably bets on baseball*. But I'm sure he got 95% of the calls right!

*probably does not bet on baseball

Edit - Our beautiful and talented friends at Brew Crew Ball give us the catchers view. Just as bad.

Brewers: 49-50

Tom H: This was the accurate assessment of the Brewers' starting rotation by a scout tonight: "They've got 1 good pitcher -- Gallardo."

Macha: “The fans are getting a little restless and I don’t blame them,” said Brewers manager Ken Macha after his team allowed at least seven runs for the ninth time in July. “We can’t continue to have to get four innings from the bullpen every night.”


Hints, please?

Because that is exactly what is going to happen the rest of the year unless something changes. And with every passing loss to horrible teams and division opponents, I think more and more of just giving up on this season altogether. A horrible, fair-weather fan's mentality, yes I know. Awful. Disgraceful. Something only mentioned by the very least of Brewer fans.

Would nabbing a SP really help us this year? Really? You know the answer is no. Sure, we may win 3 or 4 more games, but unless Pujols wakes up with no legs or Tulowitski suffers from a bout of Mountain Madness, we are not getting the Wild Card.

You have to ask if the comp picks we'd get after they walk in Free Agency are worth more than the package you give up to get that SP. What's the point?


NOTE: The dirt is not thrown on them yet, I remain hopeful and these feelings are only reserved for a few weeks down the road.

Brewers: 49-49

A horrible ending to a possibly promising series. I was thinking of the Brewers record in games that Chris Smith makes an appearance(after losing yet another one in which he does), and it was worse than I had ever imagined.

In games Chris Smith makes appearance: 1-18

Let me repeat that: One and Eighteen. So basically, using Chris Smith in a game means Macha is screaming, "UNCLE! Please GOD make it STOP!" to the opposing team. And what's slightly odd about that is you'd expect Smith to be awful and he's really not: 3.76ERA coming into today(4.18 after today's game).

He does have a tendency to give up the long ball(8HR in 28IP), which highly increases his Suck Index by quite a bit. Some of it may just be bad luck. Some may be due to the fact that he's used more frequently when we're behind in games, or something like that.

Idea: Stop using Chris Smith
Result: We will go 4-15 in the replacement's next 19 appearances, thus netting +3 wins.

I really should be a manager.

Brewers' pain, my gain

Although the Brew Crew won today, and for that I am grateful, the heartache they have caused me since the All-Star break has given me inspiration; inspiration to write amazing haiku; of course I will start out with the average ones, but the last one you read will blow your mind, not just because I never end my sentences, using a never ending stream of semicolons, but because it is the purest Haiku ever written; I shed tears for the Japanese, that they have been bested by an American in their own art.

Gallardo, the man
the Brewers only hope left
hark! I see Lopez!

the pain I suffer
watching them lose every day
I ask for pitching

Tim is one fat oaf
frisbee, scorn, a heretic
I curse you with fat

and the Coup de grâce:

Five seven then five
Poem, the audacity
I weep all day long

I hope you cried as much as I did after reading my work; and Japan, I apologize, but you just got served.

Brewers: 48-48

After last night's embarassment of a game Prince Fielder made a brilliant comment after going 0-4 with 4Ks.

“I didn’t make any contact. I don’t know what else to say,” said Fielder

That's weird. Last time Prince struck out 4 times he also had 3 doubles and 2HR in the same game. Rare is the game where one strikes out 4 times and does not make good contact on the baseball. The two seem to go hand in hand.

Can you just beat up Manny Parra again, please?

Or maybe next time say, "Yeah, I struck out 4 times, but so what? I'm Prince Fielder and I have an awesome 1.036 OPS this year and I think I can afford to have an off day once in a while. Can a brother buy a pitching staff?"

Something along the lines of that would do.

DM: Don't make the trade for Halladay

Mr. Melvin, sir. I know you read this blog and take what you read and put it deep within your soul, so this has to be said. Do NOT trade for Roy Halladay anymore. I was linked to a small article today by the wonderful and beautiful and lovely and nice Trenni Kusnierek's twitter account. Yeah, I'm buddies with her and everything - so what? IT READS:

"Report: Brewers "serious player" in trade sweepstakes for Toronto's Roy Halliday."

I will ignore the fact that 620WTMJ spelled 'Halladay' wrong. That would only be a micro-point, in a whole stew of points. I've been seeing a lot of statements like that recently, which in turn caused my very large uber-brain to ponder if the trade talks were actually heating up a bit.

I was for this trade had it happened before the All-Star break, but now that there's just about two months to go in the season, I have soured. Halladay is sitting right now with a WARP(wins above replacement player) of 4.5. That is good. That is delightfully good. By comparison my boy Danny Haren is leading baseball at 9.2. Manny Parry is at -1.4. Thanks Manny!

So while Halladay has been great, he hasn't been as valuable as Haren, Grienke, Jurrjens, Lincecum, Cain, or even King Felix. Yet the Jays are asking for the farm. Literally. The trade would most certainly involve Alcides Escobar and 3-4 other 'Tier 2' prospects like Brett Lawrie and such. And then probably Parra too. That is a hell of a lot of value to give up for 1 1/2 years of the Doc. Parra has looked great since returning from AAA and if he leaves we still have 2 dead spots in the rotation, so no problem is really solved. Any deal for Halladay must NOT include Parra.

If we traded for Halladay today(sans Parra) and he pitched today, he would see around 14 starts between now and the end of the season. With Mike Burns pitching we would win maybe 5 of those starts(worst case). With Roy to bump him out of the rotation we'd see our wins jump to around 10. Is giving up Escobar worth 5 wins this season? We are currently on pace for a 82-80 season; concievably, with Halladay we'd be looking at around 87 wins putting us at 87-75. Is that enough to win the division?

We report; you decide.

New Brewer

We welcome new Brewer leadoff man Felipe Lopez. May his bat hit many balls.

THOUGHTS: Gave up basically nothing for him. Stability at the top of the order, Gamel can play everyday in AAA, yada yada yada

He'll be fine, and after he's done being fine he'll net us a comp pick and leave. Then Weeks comes back next year and we're +1 a prospect!

Prediction: Hardy gets traded soon for a SP(not Halladay) and Escobar makes his debut.

Jason Kendall should not leadoff

Now, normally I will not post other people's comments from the forums i frequent, but this one was too good and very timely. Jason Kendall should not leadoff. Ken Macha needs to be stopped and this is why:

"Jason Kendall has the worst OPS in baseball among qualified players over the past 3 years. He is now the Brewers' lead-off hitter. I can't stress enough how unacceptable I find this. You want the worst hitter in baseball getting as few at-bats as possible, not as many as possible. Moving him from 8th to lead-off is an additional 65 or so plate appearances over the remainder of the season. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! I can't understand what Macha is doing. Melvin or Attanasio needs to put a stop to this lunacy. Kendall is the definition of a terrible hitter, having him hit leadoff is arguably worse than when the Cubs had Neifi Perez bat 1st or 2nd for most of 2005 because at least Neifi had a tiny bit of power. I almost feel like Macha needs to be taken to The Hague and shamed for all the world to see. This kind of terrible decision-making must be brought to light."

Perfect, Class A rant. Would Yost bat Kendall at leadoff? Me thinks not.

Manny Parra: Exciting Prospect or TTG?

Death is not pleased. He is not pleased at all with the way his young charge, Manny Parra, is performing in his current role as starter for the Milwaukee Brewers. The tolerance of Brewers fans wears thin, PARRYBOY. Start after start goes by without a consistently good base, and yet we still believe in you after one of those "pretty good" performances where you show what it takes to be in the big leagues. Then you come out with 2 more crappy starts just to piss us off..like today. WHO GIVES UP 10 EARNED RUNS TO A MARLINS TEAM WITH LESS FANS IN THE STANDS THEN THE MILWAUKEE IRON ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON? And the Iron don't even have Gravedigger Gilbert as a coach to draw in fans like the Bonecrushers. Unforgiveable.

Manny, I almost wish you were the second part of a trade bait I would love to see completed. Manny Parra and Corey Hart for an even exchange of better, possibly more veteran caliber. We give up two possibly great players but..in my opinion neither will ever materialize into a solid baseball player.

Sorry Manny, YOU GOTTA GO. THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN.

A Tribute

Alas, we have all heard the devastating news by now. Rickie Weeks is out for the season.

WHY HAVE THE BASEBALL GODS DONE THIS TO US??? WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE SUCH PUNISHMENT? Was it the untucked jerseys that LaRussa and the Cardinals so frown upon? It cannot be, for the root of the 'untuckem' is pure of heart.

Nay, it was indeed the Cardinals themselves, lead by the treacherous Tony LaRussa, who has hexed him. You disgust me St. Louis, you and your witchcraft know no limits, do they?


And now, in tribute to the great Rickie Weeks; an FTF exclusive haiku:

Rickie, you are missed
We waited for potential
Brewer nation weeps

And a special haiku, bringing a curse upon the Cardinals:

LaRussa, be warned
Your efforts will be repaid
A curse unto thee

YOU HEAR THAT CARDINALS? I pray to the statue of Ryan Braun that you are, my former friends in St. Louis. You have crossed the line with this and we SHALL HAVE RETRIBUTION!

ON TO THE SWEEP! ON TO THE 'UNTUCKEM'! ON TO THE PLAYOFFS!

Baseball Repentance: Brewers 23-14

Forgive me, Father Braun, for I have sinned. I did not believe. I did not have faith. You spoke words of wisdom and grace, but I did not listen wholeheartedly. I saw the 4-9 record and was losing hope.

Oh, have mercy on me Baseball Gods. I know what I have done is but a frogstep away from treachery. My loyalty has come into question. I COME NOW IN SEARCH NOT OF APPROVAL, BUT OF FORGIVENESS! Have mercy, Father Braun. Take me back under your wingspan. I will be your fiercest advocate, for I am no longer a Doubting Thomas. I have seen the error of my ways and now... NOW I BELIEVE!!!

178-151 Run differential. +27.

23-14 W/L. 1st Place in NL Central

19-5 since my near betrayal.

Suppan since I faltered: 5-1 W/L 37IP 2.92ERA

I am no longer in a position to question the Brewers, but for one exception: Corey Hart. Corey Hart needs to leave this team. I, now, am calling for a trade of said Hart to the Padres in a deal for Jake Peavy. That is right. It has taken me 3+ years to sour on Hart, but it has happened. Last year's September shenannigans did not help his cause any, either. I AM A REVIVED BREWERS FAN, AND AS SUCH AM PREDICTING A COREY HART TRADE!

Let the events unfold.

Dominance, anyone?

We all knew Yovani Gallardo was amazing, but last afternoon, he further humiliated an already distraught Pirates club. Not only did they extend their losing streak to the brewers to 15, it was in such an inglorious way.

If you did not watch the game ( or listen on the radio as I do on the way to work) shame on you. Yo pitched 8 innings of perfection, giving up 2 hits, that's 2 away from a no-hitter, mind you. "Well with such power, how much did the Brewers win by?" I'll tell you, my foolish, imaginary friend; the score was 1-0 Brew Crew.

You pump that fist, you deserve it

"Wow, 1-0! Was it the beast Braun that gave us our edge over the Scalawags?" Hohoho, my friend, not this time. Although Braun is an all powerful Brewer machine, he has some class. I believe he refused to hit well in yesterday's game; in a way to defy the Pirates after getting hit by a kid.

Allow me to explain. How do you think it feels, to pitch a brilliant game, not allow any of the Brewers to score, and lost 1-0? You can ask Sheets about now that feels, he sure knows. But to add on to it, the only scoreing was from the oposing pitcher; not a single, not driving another teammate in, no. He did it all himself, smashing a homerun and laughing the whole way around the bases. (speculation) Simply. Amazing.

May 4th and 5th, the Crew will travel to Pittsburgh where they will no doubt extend their streak to 17. But this time we will do it in the faces of the fans, in defiance. Again, the wrath of Braun. I have a feeling this is going to be a very good season, our Crew are playing with feeling and guts, that means 1 thing, Division, maybe even a Pennant championship. Yeah, I said it.

Braun calls out Pirates' hitman

Had you watched the game in due diligence last night, as I did, you would have seen the great Ryan Braun get beaned in the back by Pirates' pitcher Jeff Karstens. The photo above proves that Braun was not too delighted about it. It was obviously intentional and the ump warned both benches.

In the post-game interview with Braun, after the Crew had sufficiently kicked the crap out of the Buccos, Braun called out Karstens and said, "Tell Mr. Selig that next time that kid pitches he's probably getting one in the ribs."

Post-game Audio - quote is near the end

I. LOVE. RYAN. BRAUN.

It might be a better rivalry if the Pirates weren't the Brewers' personal punching bag over the last 2 seasons. 13 STRAIGHT WINS, BABY! HOW DOES THAT TASTE, PIRATES?

Brewers: 4-9

Alright Brew Crew. I'll save everyone from the embarrassment that was last night's game. It was so bad, I didn't even watch the whole thing. ME. AKA The Greatest Brewer Fan in History. Even I could not watch the beatdown that ensued last night. Make a note of that Mark A - I know you're listening to me, as you should be - I give you until the set date of May 20th to turn it around. OR ELSE! Feelin' the heat yet? Yeah. Good. Cuz I'm bringing it. THE HEAT, that is.

There was one beautiful vine to come out of last night's thornbush. That wonderfully cultivated vine is Ryan Braun. Going 5-5 with 2HR while the rest of the team drank booze and passed out on the field. I'm lookin' at you Weeks. I don't care if you have a concussion on the field. STAY IN THE GAME. You didn't see Yo Gallardo crying after the snakes from Wrigley Field tore his ACL, did you? No. He said, "Time to man up. Like a man." And he finished the inning and pitched one MORE inning after that. We need manly men on this team.

QUICK - LIST THE MANLY MEN CURRENTLY ON THE BREWER ROSTER:

1. Ryan Braun
2. Yo Gallardo
3. JJ Hardy
4. Seth McClung
5. Pirate Kendall
6. Todd Coffey

If you're not on the Manly Men list then you need to step your game up. I play beer-league softball. I think I would know how it's done.

I included Coffey only because he ran like a freight train out of the bullpen the other day in full-sprint mode. Seeing that brought joy to millions.

Brewers: 3-6

So the season hasn't gotten off on the best 5-toed-foot - i.e. losing 2 of 3 to the SanFran Queers then losing 2 of 3 to the FIBS then losing 2 of 3 to the Commie Reds. Ok, so it's been a suck-fest so far. Suppan will probably lose his starting rotation spot to Big Red McClung eventually. If it does happen it probably won't happen for a while. I'd imagine Macha will have a long leash with him because he's a veteran-y kind of manager. I give him until May 20th. I'm calling it right here, right now. May 20th Suppan will be replaced by Seth McClung in the starting rotation.

There has been a few bright spots. My boy Rickie Weeks looks decent so far, even though he still can't seem to not bounce throws to Prince at 1B. Looper isn't a disaster. That's good. But the best so far has been from Mike Cameron, who is sporting a delicious 1.315 OPS through 34 plate apperances. If the old man can keep it up for a while longer, Braun will get jealous and revert back to the ass-kicking Braun we all know and love.

We've got the Mets next and it'll be Yo vs Santana for Game Uno. Suppan got pushed back a day and is already on some thin ice, seemingly. Or Yo is just better and Macha knew that we wouldn't stand a chance in a Suppan vs Santana match-up.

GO BREWERS!

Brewers: 1-1

Yo Gallardo puts game 1 out of everyone's memory.

Gallardo (1-0), the Brewers’ promising 23-year-old right-hander, gave up six hits and struck out six while muzzling a Giants team that scored 10 runs on opening day. He also popped a two-out, two-strike pitch over the short left-field corner fence in the fifth, providing himself with all the run support he needed.

Yo's HR was awesome. The best part was scoring 3 runs, it was that I called it. In my head. I thought, "Man.. he's going deep here." And *WHAM* - Yo goes deep. Just call me Baseball Seer.

Bill Schroeder had a line that made me laugh. He said something like, "Center field is like Death Valley. It's only 399ft to dead center, but it plays like it's 415."

You hear that? Even though he proved himself wrong he's still right. Anyways, GO BREWERS!

The Brewers have begun

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the 2009 baseball season for the beloved Crew.

Baseball Prospectus has the Brewers at 83-79, good for 2nd in the NL Central. If Yo Gallardo isn't sabotaged by the Cubs again like last year, we should at least have one solid pitcher. I am hopeful that Manny Parra can bust out and have around a 3.70ERA which would probably net him around 12-15 wins(for all you "win stat is the ONLY stat" nerds) with our delicious offense.

Ryan Braun will be the NL MVP. Book it. It's gonna happen. Prince will do his best MVP impersonation, but will ultimately fall short. He may have another very good year like back in 2007 when he hit 50HR, but I'll settle for 49.

As you may notice, we will be in full baseball mode for the summer months. The greatest sport the world has ever known is taking over America. That means everything else takes a back seat: Barry Obama trying to ruin the country? It can wait until November. North Korea has nukes? Whatever. They'll understand when Barry says something like, "Hey, you damn commies(irony?). We'd really love to kick some Nork ass, but...well.. it's Opening Day. Just stay quiet for a while, guys.

THE WORLD WILL WAIT FOR BASEBALL