The 60ft Phallus

So there I was: sifting through the 'Location Details' of the visitors of this site and I came upon something quite odd. And by "odd" I mean "really, really gay". On SiteMeter you can see the referring URLs and search words, or in stupid terms: what they type into Google to bring up your site.

Normally you get things like: I hate Favre / Aaron Rodgers God / Arlen Specter lasagna cheeks / and so on like that.

But this... this particular search reference was... and I kid you not: "an 18-year-old painted a 60ft phallus on his parents' roof in berkshire. it remained undiscovered for a year"

Less odd - but still very odd - is that the search came from UK's Stirling Council out of Scotland. Here's some of the services listed on their website:

Report a Fault or pay your Council Tax Online.

Money problems? We can help.

Buying your council house

Land Services-street cleaning, grounds maintenance, cemeteries and countryside

What trading standards do.

Oh, I see. You provide monetary and lawn care by trying to find as many 60 ft dicks as they can. Now I get it.

And sure enough, if you type that whole phrase into google it brings up this blog. This is now the defacto Phallus discussion blog on the intertubes.

Why Americans Rock the British

At first, this post seems redundant and obvious..of course the Americans are, by their nature, greater then the British. After all, we kicked them up and down as a tiny little colony and told them to get the "bloody hell" out of our land. We kicked the trousers off them and sent them back to their United Kingdom. We even dumped their cursed tea into the ocean and laughed at their attempts to get back at us for it. We're Americans and therefore superior to all other countries..need we say more?

However, there is one particular reason that Death believes that the United Kingdom cannot possibly survive as an independent nation for much longer..they lack a key ingredient to a country's success..


An entire country without Mountain Dew..how do these people survive? I have been to no less then 16 grocery stores and convenience stores looking to "Do the Dew", and not one of them has anything resembling this delicious soda. The closest I have found is "Grapefruit and Mango" soda, which tastes like strained spinach crushed into apple juice and left to ferment for 6 months, then blended with pomegranate and put into a soda. I predict the fall of the monarchy within 5 years without the adoption of Mountain Dew in every grocery store, as good ol' America does it.

AMERICA.