Brewers' pain, my gain

Although the Brew Crew won today, and for that I am grateful, the heartache they have caused me since the All-Star break has given me inspiration; inspiration to write amazing haiku; of course I will start out with the average ones, but the last one you read will blow your mind, not just because I never end my sentences, using a never ending stream of semicolons, but because it is the purest Haiku ever written; I shed tears for the Japanese, that they have been bested by an American in their own art.

Gallardo, the man
the Brewers only hope left
hark! I see Lopez!

the pain I suffer
watching them lose every day
I ask for pitching

Tim is one fat oaf
frisbee, scorn, a heretic
I curse you with fat

and the Coup de grâce:

Five seven then five
Poem, the audacity
I weep all day long

I hope you cried as much as I did after reading my work; and Japan, I apologize, but you just got served.

A Tribute Cont'd...

Prince wins the derby in glorious fashion, as we knew he would(I called a Nelson Cruz / Prince Fielder showdown beforehand. Trust me). And upon accepting the trophy UNTUCKS THE JERSEY, right in the Cardinals home field. After a win over Pujols. Awesome.

So in honor of Prince, a haiku:

The Prince has prevailed,
Cards' fan weeps at the mere sight,
untuck that jersey

A Tribute

Alas, we have all heard the devastating news by now. Rickie Weeks is out for the season.

WHY HAVE THE BASEBALL GODS DONE THIS TO US??? WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE SUCH PUNISHMENT? Was it the untucked jerseys that LaRussa and the Cardinals so frown upon? It cannot be, for the root of the 'untuckem' is pure of heart.

Nay, it was indeed the Cardinals themselves, lead by the treacherous Tony LaRussa, who has hexed him. You disgust me St. Louis, you and your witchcraft know no limits, do they?


And now, in tribute to the great Rickie Weeks; an FTF exclusive haiku:

Rickie, you are missed
We waited for potential
Brewer nation weeps

And a special haiku, bringing a curse upon the Cardinals:

LaRussa, be warned
Your efforts will be repaid
A curse unto thee

YOU HEAR THAT CARDINALS? I pray to the statue of Ryan Braun that you are, my former friends in St. Louis. You have crossed the line with this and we SHALL HAVE RETRIBUTION!

ON TO THE SWEEP! ON TO THE 'UNTUCKEM'! ON TO THE PLAYOFFS!

Ode to Cutler

Let's all just take a moment here and reflect. We all hate Jay Cutler, do we not? He is a blood-siphoning parasite on the beautifully sculpted body that is the NFL. I know, I know - tell us something we don't know, right?

Well, when you express your fury and type in the phrase "I hate Jay Cutler" on the Google Intertubes, guess what site is #1? THIS SITE. Few times have I been more proud to be a Green Bay Packer fan.

And now, a haiku poem written for everyone's favorite FIB: Jay Cutler.

Cutler whined and groaned,
McDaniels tried to toss bone,
Rodgers sees 2-0

Read it and weep. 5-7-5. Just like the ancestral Japanese did in that Seven Samurai movie.

Note: The last line should read "Rodgers sees TWO OH" not "TWO AND OH" That would not fit in the haiku format, you see.