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The Resurgence of Brewer-Blogging

This is a day that will live in Brewer infamy. December 19th, 2010. Or possibly December 18th because the story was broke in the wee hours of night. Either way, ZACK GREINKE IS A BREWER.

This blog has officially reopened as a 78% Brewer blog and 22% I hate everything-type blog. Oh yes, a great day for our Brewers and a great day to capitalize on this by returning to form as a premier Brewers' interweb-analyst.

ZACK GREINKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I have seen the light, and it was good

Today, while working at KK I noticed a small Asian woman sitting using the Wi-Fi there. Upon a closer look I realized something great, even through I have spent 3 months in Japan and have witnessed many hotties there, today I have just stumbled up the hottest MILF of all time, alas I think God was forcing me away from her as I left the shop, she was talking to some young asian hooligan. As I backed out of my spot, he was backing out at the same time, too! I was so distraught, I just missed a chance to throw her a smile or a wink or something just to make my "stomach to a back flip" as Harry Potter would say when talking to his Asian hottie, Cho Chang.

But as I said, I don't know who that loser kid was or what he was talking to this angel about, but I think God placed him there to keep me out of trouble; God, I know you are amazing and saved my soul, but sometimes I wonder why something to amazing is placed in front us at times. Makes me think of that passage, God will never tempt us beyond our means; well this hottie of a hottie that was the hottest I have ever seen was too much, so he sent someone to get in the way..."Sigh"

Maybe she will be back!



Over the much absurd controversy of what I find as an attractive female I have come to the conclusion to award this gem of a lady the crowning of "BABE OF THE WEEK!!!!" Yes this babe has many qualifications. Not only does she look like a delicious desert of my choosing but she can flip the coin around and actually cook more than delicious deserts, casseroles, tacos, to meaty burgers. And yes as on twitter I have revealed I have a picture of this gorgeous lady upon my locker to greet me every morning and to say a bitter goodbye to me as I depart. Here it is after long awaiting months

BABE OF THE WEEK OF DECEMBER 5TH IS DECLARED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Thank you so kindly T.I. for the intro...... bros to the end, and yeah don't worry I will pick up your new cd for sure.......

So anyways this probably my 3rd sorry of all time to the blog for my disregard and laziness to not keep my blogging up to par with the rest of the world. Starting tomorrow I promise a good post every day to lead into a new year to train my fingers and mind to keep a good pace of letting the world know my attitude towards it on a daily basis. I keep this promise to all the loyal people. And hit me up on twitter..... @timnacious now random picture time.....


Time to ride the money horse

That's right, I just opened a TD Ameritrade account.

Move over Warren Buffet, there's a new dog in town.


Jeremy Jarmon: Session Two

The very same day that I demanded Jeremy Jarmon be fined for his hit on Rodgers, it turns out that he was indeed fined.

"The NFL has fined Redskins defensive end Jeremy Jarmon $5,000 for a helmet to helmet hit on Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers in last Sunday's game.


Jarmon was not flagged on the play, but a review showed that as Jarmon came down, his helmet made contact with Rodgers' and the league office felt a fine was in order."

Good. I am a seer.


Jeremy Jarmon, we are on to you

Did Jeremy Jarmon intentionally go helmet-to-helmet on Aaron Rodgers in OT of the Redskins/Pack game? Yes, I believe he did. I am making quite an accusation here, and I do believe he should be fined for this. I assume he makes the league minimum and because of this should be issued a citation for roughly $15,000. Or enough to cover the first few treatments of the Alzheimer's Disease that he'll develop when he reaches sixty-three years old due to being a young concussed NFL star.

Did Jeremy Jarmon intentionally go helmet-to-helmet on Aaron Rodgers in OT of the Redskins/Pack game? Yes, I believe he did. I am making quite an accusation here, and I do believe he should be fined for this. Rodgers will not make the case for himself, so I must carry the burden of this banner and tread onward in his stead. And now...

The Thesis: Jeremy Jarmon(DE, Washington Redskins) purposefully sought helmet-to-helmet contact with Aaron Rodgers in OT of the Redskins/Pack game.

Who knows what malice lurks in his heart, just waiting to be unleashed like a defense with eleven Claymakers.

The Evidence: Well, we don't exactly have evidence per say... unless you mean this highlight reel of him bludgeoning Rodgers right in the temple, using his own helmet as the weapon of choice. Behold!

Now, I understand if you don't feel the urging sensation to watch this entire clip, but take notice of the final few moments of the clip - 46 seconds and beyond. Screencaps forthcoming


OK, here's some screencaps. Focus on Jarmon's helmet as he goes in for the kill.

Ball out

Rodgers can see the hit coming


Post collision. Take note of the angle of Jarmon's helmet as it is pointed towards Rodgers. This tells my brain and eyeballs that he tilted his neck forward in order to initiate the helmet contact.

Post-post collision. Just a really weird body-position that Jarmon is in. Considering he had his hands flailing in the air during the entire take-down, you would think he was trying to hold up and not hit Rodgers. Obviously, this was a distraction ploy to get the ref to look at something other than the helmets colliding.

Shot of Rodgers on the ground for added emotional reaction.

I think we've made our point here.


The Great Guide to wining your Suicide Pool

What I do before making my pick. I call it a tease.

Are you sad and frustrated because year after year you get dropped from your workplace pickem's league? Do you foolishly pick the Patriots and the Packers weeks one and two and leave yourself with nothing but the scrapheaps of the NFL at your disposal? Disgraceful, it is. Incurable, it is not. With these painful yet boundlessly insightful tips from yours truly you too can be a Suicide Pool master.

Of course, there are the basic rules: 1) pick one winner every week 2) can't pick the same team twice 3) if your team loses you are OUT

And that's about it, actually. Throw in $20 and you have a nice pot of cash waiting for you, and all you have to do is tame the dogs and outwit your fellow mates at work. Now, it is now week three of the NFL season. Have I made it this far in my own workplace pickem's league, you ask? Yes, I have. I have succeeded where six other co-workers have already failed. They failed because of their incompetence, but also because they just don't know how to pick. There were way too many close games in terms of talent on the team i.e Houston/Indy Atl/Pitt Cle/Tampa, that you are forced to look for the sleeper game. My sleeper game was the Titans at home against the Raiders. I reasoned it out in my beautiful brain and it ended up feeling like the right pick.

Week two I picked the Eagles beacuse I saw firsthand the horrible misdeeds Michael Vick can commit onto a defense. He singlehandedly brought the Eagles back within striking distance against my Packers, and gave me quite a sweat. No, really, I did sweat. Profusely. I have crusty shirts now. So I ended up choosing the Eagles based on Vick's performance against my Packers. That worked out.

In the end, I realize that I have almost no advice to give to prospective readers, and that what I am doing is essentially utilizing a gift that has been given to me from God. I won't say that I speak directly too him when making these picks, but I will say I feel like I am speaking for him. Oh yes, these are the picks Jesus himself would make - were he alive today and hanging out on my couch.

What Jesus would look like today, were he alive and also looking at the Week 3 Schedule

Who do we pick for week three, Jesus? Well that's a good question Jared, because now I'm speaking vicariously through you so as to make the next pick. Ok pal! Cram it - on to the pick. So first we look at the schedule to see if any games stand out. Obviously my Packers stand out on Monday night when Jay Cutler will have both his legs broken, but we don't pick the Pack until desperation time. New England is an easy vic against the Bills, but we are saving them also for later in the season. Strategy, people. Pittsburgh at Tampa Bay stands out to my beautiful brain. Normally they would be off limits until later, but they are still without Ben Rapelisberger and now they don't even have Dennis Dixon. They are starting Charlie Batch. They still have that awesome defense and Palamoulu's hair makes me weep so they are in the running for my pick.

My pick for Week 3: Washington Redskins

I don't need to explain myself. It's a gift.


The Saturday Preview of Sunday: Time to Pay the Bills


I believe that the photo there explains everything we need to know about this game with the Bills of Buffalo. If the Packers are who we all think they are then this game should be a blowout. If this team has the same mindset as last years team, then it will probably be close. By all accounts, this year's team is in kill-mode, so I don't think that's a problem.

The Bills are not a good team. I watched the last few minutes of their week 1 game against the Dolphins and Trent Edwards couldn't complete a pass to save his life. He looked Mark Sanchez-esque out there and I doubt he's going to suddenly improve in 5 days of practice. The Pack is much better than the Dolphins so in all likelyhood this should be a very satisfying beatdown of a game.

Pack 34 - Finley 2TDs
Bills 13 - Edwards out at half(concussion)


Beware the Thiesfeldt tsunami

Oh yes. OH YES. Two nights ago the lovely and talented citizens of Fond du Lac and surrounding areas overwhelmingly decided - nay, demanded Jeremy Thiesfeldt be on the ballot in November. At the very same time the throngs told Tim Lakin to, in effect, cram it. Sir Thiesfeldt, a patriot and extended family member of yours truly, destroyed(putting it midly) Lakin by a +38 margin and captured 69% of the Republican vote.

Now, after receiving a beatdown like that a normal person may do a bit of soul searching and look introspectively on what they did wrong in order to lose so terribly. A normal person. Lakin, right after the results were in, whined to the FDL Reporter, "we don't know what happened. We ran a positive race and stayed on the issues. Obviously negative campaigning prevailed."

Really, Tim? You don't know what happened... Well, Tim, I can tell you what happened last night and I don't need a poli-sci degree from Columbia U to do it. Here at FTF Productions LTD we specialize in an old type of analysis long ago left to the winds. The Motherland refers to it as Állati becsületesség: brutal honesty. It will be harsh and tears may be shed but in the end you will learn from this and improve yourself.

More later...