Peter King is smart and handsome

Normally I would not read Sports Illustrated because I have disassociated myself with the magazine format. But this happened to be on the webnets so I quickly devoured it with my piercing retinas. Peter King is apparently some sort of writer and he writes about sports and things, so he made the annual list of players he likes more than others and calls it his All-Pro team. He opens with the typical establishment dribble about the formula he uses to calculate his picks and so on until we finally actually get to the picks. And as soon as my eyes glazed upon his first pick for his "All-Pro" team, disgust took hold of my body like it rarely ever does.

Offense

WR Vincent Jackson, San Diego.
He's very slightly more consistent and just as game-breaking as Andre Johnson.

I'll just repeat that line for you: He's very slightly more consistent and just as game-breaking as Andre F. Johnson. Either Peter is getting a little nookie from VJ on the side, or he's just plain stupid, and I have it on good authority that Peter King is a eunuch, so I'm siding on the stupid area. Andre Johnson. Andre "Leads the League in Receiving Yards"Johnson. That Andre Johnson. I'm sure Peter King did a quick check of the stat sheet before doing this pick, right? No need to double check.

Andre Johnson: 101 rec. 1569 yards / 98.1 yards per game / 9TD

Vincent Jackson: 68 rec. 1167 yards / 77.8 yards per game / 9TD

Even with a quick glance at the numbers or even from watching a 10 second clip of Andre Johnson playing the game of football, we can clearly see that he is the best receiver in the league and Peter King is a typical retarded troglodyte establishment sports writer who picks players he "likes" or "feels good about" over players who are much more incredibly productive. It's like baseball season all over again.

Just take a look at his first phrase, "He's very slightly more consistent..." How do you even think something like that if you're not just blatantly lying or not miming Sloth. I could go further and look at the game logs of each individual game and find out that Johnson only had two games where he had less than 4 receptions(2 rec against Oakland and 2 rec against San Francisco), while Vincent Jackson just averaged 4.5 receptions per game and had twelve games of 5 receptions or fewer. Johnson had six games of 8+ receptions including three games where he had ridiculous 10+ receptions - of which Jackson had zero.

So we are left with the conclusion that Vincent Jackson is slightly more consistently bad than Andre Johnson and that Peter King lost his eyesight at the tender age of 34, and has been forever cursed into making random guesses of which players are good based on the beautiful painted oral canvases crafted by Joe Buck's velvety cords.

On the other hand...

Executive
Ted Thompson, G.B.

This has to go back to his faith in Aaron Rodgers in June 2008, when Brett Favre wanted to come back and Thompson said no. But recent drafts of Greg Jennings and Clay Matthews, and the free-agent signing of Charles Woodson hit its zenith this year.

Alright, he's not so bad.