The Blood of a Smurf

This morning before work I briefly imagined what the aftermath of a grizzly scene of smurf cannibalization would look like. It was not pretty, and I gleeked all over my computer screen. Horrifying, yes. Then, I deduced, you can't have a cannibalistic scene of any kind without a lot of blood. So what would smurf blood look like? Would it be blue as our own human blood - only to be turned red once oxygenated? Would they be opposites of ourselves - possessing red blood in the veins and bleeding true blue once it hits the air? So many questions, the last being least likely and also a dumb question.

Smurfs are mammalistic(maybe?) bipeds similar to ourselves. They are obviously not primates due to their incredibly disproportionate bodies and blue pigmented skin. They are closer to aliens than primates. Has anyone ever felt a smurf skin? They could have scales for all we know. That alone would change their blood-type a great deal, indeed.

Based on earlier studies I found the blood to be possibly a greenish, and now based upon further examination of the color wheel I have come to the conclusion that smurf blood is a yellowish color. Now, we must take into account that I had to use yellow as our skin color - to match up the scientific data that I had to examine before my outcome.

DATA:



Now, these graphs are quite complicated. I made them myself, of course. They show that humans have a pasty yellowish hue about them and also have blue blood coarsing through their veins. By the same flawless logic we take the opposite of smurf epidermis - which happens to be a incredibly horrifying yellow.

On to more studies!



This graph shows normal human blood - derived by traveling three hues in the clockwise directions.



Incredible. Smurf "blood" is a very sensitive shade of teal. This is a boundary breaker. Never before have we known that killing a smurf and smearing its blood all over your body will make you glow in the dark. You could likely attribute the glow to a form of radiation. It sickens me to even think it, but they just may be an alien race, basking in the nuclear waste of their spacecraft. We may never know, but for at least a day, science has triumphed!