Alright Brew Crew. I'll save everyone from the embarrassment that was last night's game. It was so bad, I didn't even watch the whole thing. ME. AKA The Greatest Brewer Fan in History. Even I could not watch the beatdown that ensued last night. Make a note of that Mark A - I know you're listening to me, as you should be - I give you until the set date of May 20th to turn it around. OR ELSE! Feelin' the heat yet? Yeah. Good. Cuz I'm bringing it. THE HEAT, that is.
There was one beautiful vine to come out of last night's thornbush. That wonderfully cultivated vine is Ryan Braun. Going 5-5 with 2HR while the rest of the team drank booze and passed out on the field. I'm lookin' at you Weeks. I don't care if you have a concussion on the field. STAY IN THE GAME. You didn't see Yo Gallardo crying after the snakes from Wrigley Field tore his ACL, did you? No. He said, "Time to man up. Like a man." And he finished the inning and pitched one MORE inning after that. We need manly men on this team.
QUICK - LIST THE MANLY MEN CURRENTLY ON THE BREWER ROSTER:
1. Ryan Braun
2. Yo Gallardo
3. JJ Hardy
4. Seth McClung
5. Pirate Kendall
6. Todd Coffey
If you're not on the Manly Men list then you need to step your game up. I play beer-league softball. I think I would know how it's done.
I included Coffey only because he ran like a freight train out of the bullpen the other day in full-sprint mode. Seeing that brought joy to millions.
No comments:
Post a Comment