200 Posts - Find the invaders; kill the invaders

1. Seek out the alien menace
2. ???
3. Destroy the alien menace.


In the span of one day at the great UK Telegraph there has been around three or so articles on aliens. It's enough to get the cryptozoologist buried deep inside of each and every soul all warm and fuzzy with nice cozy Bigfoot slippers. What was terribly curious to myself was the order in which I read and examined them.

Firstly, my eyes gazed upon this fine examination piece on how if ever we do find aliens, we had better start looking here on Earth and not in the galactic spacemosphere. Fine, that does not ruffle any feathers. Quite the contrary, I'm sure even a naive child would be able to come to such a conclusion.

Prof Davies said: We need to give up the notion that ET is sending us some sort of customised message and take a new approach."

He suggested that the search could focus on deserts, volcanic vents, salt-saturated lakes and the dry valleys of Antarctica - places where ordinary life struggles to survive - to find "weird" microbes that belong to a "shadow biosphere".

Felissa Wolfe-Simon, from the US Geological Survey, is currently looking at the possibility that arsenic, found in contaminated places such as the Mono Lake in California, might support forms of life in the same way as other life forms use phosphorous.

Right. Deserts, volcanoes, lakes of liquid salt, the coldest effing place ever and maybe some rat poison could possibly somehow support alien life. You moron. How childish. There are already animals that live in those disaster areas and we call these creatures bacteria and also some horrifying mutant sea stuff that no one ever will use or ever want to be near to. And what the hell is in the desert? Cacti, scorpions and kangaroos. So they could be alien creatues? Must I go on a crusade to protect the human race against the onslaught of the 'Roo Clan? Preposterous. You have failed as a scientist and I wish other scientists, who may actually know something about aliens, would denounce such behavior henceforth.

However, Professor Colin Pillinger, who led the Beagle 2 Mars landing mission remains sceptical. He said: "I prefer to deal in scientific fact - this is wildly science fiction. You'd be off your trolley to go searching for arsenic-based life."

Vindication!

Secondly, my eyes are drawn to another piece that suggests that these possibly Earth-bound aliens may look and behave like humans. Plausible. They would obviously want to blend in and not cause trouble until The Day Commeth, and even from a crack-pot evolution point of view the aliens would probably be humanoidish because humanoids survive and six-legged bearcows do not.

Thirdly, my retinas fixed their rage onto a final article that pleads for us not to provoke the aliens, as they may be terrifying and tyrannical creatures, hell bent on ruling the universe with a Vibranium fist:

Mr Marek Kukula, public astronomer at the Royal Observatory in Greenwich, said: "Part of me is with the enthusiasts and I would like us to try to make proactive contact with a wiser, more peaceful civilisation."

But he warned: "We might like to assume that if there is intelligent life out there it is wise and benevolent, but of course we have no evidence for this.

This one seems terribly obvious to me. Of course the aliens have a secret agenda of dominance over humans. You get these inbred hack scientists who think they understand what it's going to take once they reveal themselves. They have no idea. These bureaucratic pseudo-nerds don't even realize what the rest of us already know: they will be the first to die when the coming out party begins. They were invited, oh yes, but only to be the metaphorical fugly chick with bad grades that everyone pours beer on.

He thought that, given that the principles of Darwinian evolution should be universal, it was "inevitable" that intelligent life would have developed elsewhere in the universe given the right environmental conditions.

"If that is correct – and it applied to manipulative skill – then that suggests there should be alien technologies," he said.

Did I not just say all of this in previous thought processes? People who know, know. We know what's going on and we're not going to just sit back and wait until this alien horde sabotages us from within our own ranks.

Now is the process of seeking out the alien force. Once they make themselves known to us, or once we finally coerce it from them, what will happen? We have these fraud scientists trying to carry the populist banner of the human movement all the while suppressing it with their pandering and outright preference to alien culture and society, when they know nothing about it. I will carry the banner. I know what these bastards are trying to do to us and I and the rest of this crew will not succumb. God knows there will be chaos on the Day of Doom when all is revealed, but I plan on establishing a city-state in the heart of Wisconsin after the federal government collapses due to bribery, collusion, infiltration and getting the top fifty cities on the planet by population nuked. I don't want this to happen, but it's only a matter of time.