Lou Holtz. I'm sure most sporting-lifers know who he is: the old, smug, redheaded, lisping, four-eyed nerd who's always screaming at that black guy(who I'm pretty sure is a Gumbel. In soul. Maybe not in name) whenever he disses Notre Dames. Get it? Notre Dames. You know, because Jimmy Claussen is a woman. Anyways, those within The Circle will know that I have a great disdain for Coach Holtz. I think he is one of the worst, if not the worst, "analysts" that ESPN has. But the winds of change are blowing near me. I can't quite feel that change flowing through my glorious hair just yet, but it's close. Lou Holtz: you have almost changed my mind about you.
Almost.
What has changed, you ask, that I could even think about letting this puppetface enter into my mind's impartiality-zone? Did he suddenly stop loving Notre Dame(two ND references in one post!) less than his children? Of course not. Did he stop screaming at black guy? Hells naw! Did he lose the Barney Frank-voice parody? Unfortunately, no-OK, Lou. Barney Frank has a lisp. We get it. You can stop making fun of him already.
Well since none of those things happened I am forced to admit the reason. I was dutifully listening to Sean Hannity's radio show(2pm-5pm 1450AM KFIZ. Tune in!) earlier in the week and he had mentioned that Lou Holtz would be on his TV show that night. I thought to myself, "Who the hell is Lou Holtz?" at first and then went along my day as normal. Little did I know that it was that Lou Holtz. In fact, when I sat down to watch and saw his face I immediately gasped, "Not that Lou Holtz!"
But oh yes, my friends. It was that Lou Holtz. The only Lou Holtz as it turns out. There he was in his Ivy League suit and combed hair, looking through his Salvatore Ferragamo glasses down his nose at the rest of the panel. And, in familiar Lou Holtz fashion(and at first to my disgust) he again broke out the Barney Frank parody and lisped his way through the entire segment. It was classic Holtz. I couldn't believe Hannity didn't stop cameras and cut to commercials.
What Holtz is doing for comedy is what Christopher Columbus did for explorers. Holtz is truly entering new territory with his brilliant new satire: the parody of Barney Frank. I used to despise you, Lou. But that was before I realized that he is pulling the greatest con in the history of entertainment. Well done, Lou. Well done indeed.
Well since none of those things happened I am forced to admit the reason. I was dutifully listening to Sean Hannity's radio show(2pm-5pm 1450AM KFIZ. Tune in!) earlier in the week and he had mentioned that Lou Holtz would be on his TV show that night. I thought to myself, "Who the hell is Lou Holtz?" at first and then went along my day as normal. Little did I know that it was that Lou Holtz. In fact, when I sat down to watch and saw his face I immediately gasped, "Not that Lou Holtz!"
But oh yes, my friends. It was that Lou Holtz. The only Lou Holtz as it turns out. There he was in his Ivy League suit and combed hair, looking through his Salvatore Ferragamo glasses down his nose at the rest of the panel. And, in familiar Lou Holtz fashion(and at first to my disgust) he again broke out the Barney Frank parody and lisped his way through the entire segment. It was classic Holtz. I couldn't believe Hannity didn't stop cameras and cut to commercials.
What Holtz is doing for comedy is what Christopher Columbus did for explorers. Holtz is truly entering new territory with his brilliant new satire: the parody of Barney Frank. I used to despise you, Lou. But that was before I realized that he is pulling the greatest con in the history of entertainment. Well done, Lou. Well done indeed.
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